I hauled out Katie's old crib mattress. Our seven-year-old girl started second grade this week. I can't believe how big she's getting. But that's not why I hauled out her bitty crib mattress. I'm not looking to wax nostalgic over my baby. I need a comfy place to do some big yoga.
I checked out a book and a DVD from the library, both entitled Big Yoga. I like the idea that the poses are for bigger bodies. I checked these out because I need to fucking relax. I've been tense as fuck lately, irritable, super sensitive, and crabby. I've upped my walks, which does help calm my nerves, but I still wake up at 4AM sweating and worrying about how everybody is going to get along on our up-coming ten-hour-round-trip-road-trip to my niece's wedding: Will, who doesn't put up with anybody's bullshit, my 86 year old curmudgeonly father, a yeller and also a no-bullshit tolerater, and a bored seven year old with the bladder of a seven day old. And me, my 42 year old big butt shoved into the back of our tiny Saturn sedan, alternating between sweating and freezing to death as I do nothing but stare out the windows in an effort to keep away the inevitable car sickness.
Sounds fun, doesn't it?
I thought road trips with my dad sucked as a kid when he'd refuse to roll down his windows as he smoked his Pall Malls in the car, not wanting to decrease his fuel mileage. Now let's see how an 86 year old arthritic, ill-tempered dad and a 42 year old hormonal-roller-coaster daughter get along on this trip. Whoopee!
So, yeah, I need to do some yoga to chill the fuck out.
So I dragged out Katie's crib mattress. Will chivalrously stepped all over it to make sure it didn't have any mice or mice nests inside since it was stored in our basement for the last five years. I flung it down on the floor to start some poses and, instead, took a nap. No dreams. No sweat. Just peaceful sleep.
I must have needed it. Waking up a sweaty, panicky mess at 4AM wears my body out and frazzles my mind.
By the time I awoke, I had to leave to pick up Katie from school, so although I have yet to try any yoga poses on my new anti-anxiety mat, I still felt refreshed.