My husband knows when to stop. I, however, do not. I keep telling myself to stop writing about hot-button issues. Then Dr. Sanjay Gupta goes and announces his support of weed. Dude.
Over the course of the last few months I've gotten into arguments that turned into fights with several friends and other loved ones. It really sucks. I feel physically sick when I fight with people. I mope around for days feeling like I'm going to hurl, jonesin' for fast-paced sweaty walks that get the endorphins kicking to alleviate some of my nervous energy.
Yet I can't seem to stop myself from arguing about controversial issues. And I'm the first to admit I'm a shitty debater. When someone says something I don't like, I take it too personally. My husband, my mom, my friends who care the most about me tell me to ignore it.
"Why do you let what other people say bother you so much? Let it go!" they say.
But it's difficult for me to let things go. Someone's thoughtless words enter my ear canal and itch their way inside to my brain where they suffocate so many other's thoughtful words. When things get desperate I play Smiths albums and sing along with Morrissey's melodious melancholy.
In my life, why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die?
--The Smiths, "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now"
Isolating myself with musical genius helps me calm down, but it doesn't right the world's wrongs that get me down in the first place.
I must learn a way to work to right the world's wrongs while maintaining my mental health. I need some balance. I need to embrace The Dude's Comeback.
The other day Will and I were talking about one of our favorite films, "The Big Lebowski," and how it contains the greatest comeback ever, from Jeff Bridge's character The Dude.
"Yeah...well...ya know that's just like, uh, your opinion, man." --The Dude in "The Big Lebowski
I'm going to emulate The Dude. Instead of avoiding writing about controversial subjects, I'm going to continue to speak out about things that matter to me. And people will no doubt criticize me for speaking out. Instead of internalizing their words and becoming consumed with self-doubt, the next time someone criticizes me, instead of draining my precious mental health energy on getting all worked up arguing with them, I'm just going to say, "Yeah...well...ya know that's just like, uh, your opinion, man."
How can anyone argue with that? Man.
I must work on being more Dude-like in my daily life. Too bad I don't live in one of the states where a medical marijuana prescription is legal.
I think The Dude is so chill because of his self-medication with cannabis. Could be the perfectly legal Caucasians he sips too, but I'm more leery of consuming a lot of alcohol, legal or not, after watching my brother drink himself to death a couple of years ago. My brother suffered with a lot of pain, physical and emotional. I wonder if medical marijuana were legal in his state if he might have been able to stop drinking the alcohol that consumed his liver?
Many doctors now think marijuana could be a good medical treatment for certain types of pain and mental health issues such as post-traumatic stress disorder. Dr. Weil has been pro-pot for awhile. I'm happy to see now Dr. Sanjay Gupta is on board. According to today's post on CNN, Gupta supports medical marijuana and apologizes for his previous anti-pot stance. He's coming out with a documentary on August 11. I look forward to seeing it. Here's a preview: