About six months ago my primary care doctor suggested I see a psychiatrist for a mental health checkup. I was first diagnosed with depression in 1982 and last diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder in 2011. I’ve been on Zoloft for coming on 25 years. It’s helped tremendously, but with all the stress and grief my family has been going through in the last two years, I’ve been struggling.
Part of my problem is time-management, something I’ve sucked at my whole life. I over-focus on projects that most adults know to put on the back burner, and I under-focus on daily tasks that most people know are important —you know, dishes, laundry, following my doctor’s advice to get a psychiatric checkup. And then, when I realize I’ve ignored things that are important to other people, I succumb to an anxiety spiral where I worry that I’ve let everyone down and my brain starts overthinking and beating itself up.
Anyhoo, I finally saw a psychiatrist yesterday. I didn’t like the last psychiatrist I saw for many reasons but mostly because when he found out I’m a librarian he shared with me his love of Ayn Rand. *shudder*
I like this new shrink. She was very thorough. We spent a full 60 minutes talking about my history and current symptoms. She validated my feelings and made me feel exceptionally not-crazy. She complimented me on how well I’ve been managing my life considering all the major stressors.
She wants me to continue taking Zoloft since it does a good job of treating my PTSD. To help alleviate my depressive symptoms—mainly apathy and fatigue—and to hopefully help my time-management skills and focus, she’s prescribed Ritalin.
We’ll see how it goes. I’ve had two doses so far, and I already feel better, but maybe that’s just a psychosomatic reaction to getting treatment from an educated person who validates my feelings and wants me to be my best.
Here’s to trying new things and continuously improving. If the Ritalin doesn’t help, we’ll try something else.
