Wednesday, June 26, 2013

June 26: A Gay Day in History

Will + Becky = Love (October 22, 2004)

I feel so gay about today's SCOTUS ruling on DOMA and Prop 8, I'm compelled to share our wedding photo. When Will and I decided to get married back in 2004, we joked that one of us should get a sex change operation to protest the illegality of gay marriage. I'm happy that in just nine years our idea has become ridiculous. 

When my mom presented us with the cake, she said the cake toppers were wrong because the man has short dark hair like me and the woman has long light hair like Will. I tried to remove the heads and switch them, but they were too stubbornly attached. I have a dream that some day all cake toppers will have detachable heads so all adults in consensual relationships can design their wedding cakes accordingly.

It's awesome that SCOTUS ruled in favor of marriage equality in June, which has long been designated LGBT Pride Month, but it would have been even more amazing if they had waited two days to announce the ruling on the actual anniversary of the Stonewall Uprising, the major turning point in LGBT-rights history, June 28th.  

June 26th is OK with me.  It's long been a significant date in my personal history.  It's the birthday of Reuben Weinshilbaum, the boy who turned me gay.

I'm joking of course.  No one turned me gay.  I've probably been bisexual since I rented out my mom's womb.  The first girl I remember ever being attracted to was my friend Courtney, who I met at the St. Joseph Public Library storytime when we were both four.  (I met my future husband, Will, when we both worked at another public library.  Who knew libraries were such hot spots for hookups?)  

Reuben Weinshilbaum broke my heart but he didn't turn me gay, even though I dated almost exclusively women for many years after he told me to leave him alone.  I eventually went back to my bisexual ways after time healed the heteosexual part of my heart, broken by Reuben Weinshilbaum's unrequited love.  I loved several people, both men and women, until I found the one person who fits me best.  Will happens to be a man, so I was lucky back in 2004 that it was legal for me to marry him.  Had he been a woman, we would have exchanged rings and vows and told people we were married, but it wouldn't be the same.  It wouldn't be like it is today, June 26, 2013, when our country grew up and realized consensual love between two people is a glorious thing which should be celebrated and sanctioned.

I no longer have any animosity toward Reuben Weinshilbaum.  I hope he's having a gay birthday today, wherever he is, whomever he's with.  Jealous love is immature.  The love I feel for Reuben now is mature.  For a few years in my late teens and early twenties I thought men in general were jerks because one boy jerked me around.  Just as our country has evolved, so have I.  

Love is love.  May we all find it in a way that fits us best.