The Onion Makes Me Laugh Til I Cry

I don't think banning assault weapons will keep them out of the hands of deranged killers since most of them don't seem too concerned with following the law.  It just creates a black market for a deadly object.  

Now mind you, I hate guns.  I wish humans weren't quite so creative when it comes to inventing ways to kill each other.  But I don't think laws can change criminal minds.  And restrictions impede on the freedom of those who follow the law and use guns wisely.

But, ugh.  It's so easy in our culture to use guns unwisely.  We are too quick on the draw when our tempers flare and too slow to figure out ways to talk out our differences with each other.  Can't we address that issue?  Can we now start treating mental illness as a real illness and get more Americans the treatment they need and we deserve for having to live amongst them?  Our nation needs to go to therapy and figure out a way to cope with itself.  

I recommend laughter therapy.  That's why I read The Onion.

So yes, I support the Second Amendment.  But dang I love The Onion's take on the should-we-bring-back-the-assault-weapons-ban issue:

''Right To Live Life In Complete, Stunned Horror,'' Added To Constitution

No kidding.  I can especially relate to this part:

...the measure also permits Americans to suffer panic attacks anytime their loved ones go to work, school, malls, or virtually any other public location.