Thursday, November 3, 2011
Judge Beats Sixteen Year Old Daughter ***Caution, graphically violent video.***
Tell me how hitting helps teach anyone, regardless of age, anything.
Think back to when you were a kid. If your parents hit you, did you learn not to do whatever it was your parents told you not to do? Or did you learn not to do whatever it was your parents told you not to do when they're around?
I think physical punishment is good for two things, teaching children to fear whoever is hitting them, and teaching children that it's ok to do as you please as long as you don't get caught. If, like the girl in this video, my child stole downloadable music, I would want to teach her that stealing is wrong. I would not do this by hitting her. How is hitting someone going to teach them about morality? Causing someone pain so they don't forget a lesson? Yeah right. Hurt a child and the lesson they learn is that you want them to be in pain. There is no educational value in pain.
If my daughter steals, I'll sit down with her and talk to her about how stealing is wrong. It's morally wrong because think about if you would want someone to steal from you. It's also econcomically illogical because when people steal it causes sellers to raise their prices to compensate for their losses. So even if you don't care about stealing from the music industry, don't you care about some old grandma who doesn't know how to steal downloadable music? She wants to buy a CD to replace her Neil Diamond "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" cassette tape. She ends up paying way more than it's worth (anything over a buck) to cover your ass for ripping off your so-called favorite artists' work. Come on, if you like an artist, support their work by paying for it.
That's what I would say to Katie if I caught her stealing downloadable music. I would not beat her savagely into submission. No pain. Well, there's the pain of listening to your windbag mother explain to you over and over again why stealing is wrong, but that goes away once you understand the concept.
I don't want my child to fear me. How can you learn from someone you fear? If I have something new I need to learn for work, will I learn it any better or any faster if I'm afraid my boss will hit me if I mess up while I'm learning it? Anxiety hampers learning. Being hit produces anxiety. I'm horrible at algebra and even I can solve that equation. Don't hit.
I want Katie to know she has me to fall back on when she stumbles. I want her to feel loved no matter how big her messes can be. Support and love are much more fertile grounds for learning than punishment and pain.